With no particular place to go

Happiness is an elusive commodity. It can be likened to a cake. Made up from a base of contentment with a touch of elation. Although the consistency of the cake is easy enough to work out. The ingredients can be hard to locate and indeed very precious.

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: SPACE CAKES. They sell them in Amsterdam. They are great for forgetting that you were unhappy in the first place.

Happiness for me works just like the "Holy shit! Look at that giant cow!" type of moment you get when driving through the country. Then followed by a bit of giggling and chuckling and confirming what you just saw to anyone around "That was a big F-ing cow wasn't it?! " He He...Giant cow...ho ho...erm...LETS SEE IF WE CAN SEE ANOTHER ONE!" If I am lucky enough to find another one it won't be the same because I'm ready for it.

I recently stayed out with my two sons in our summer house. The went wild planning the thing "I KNOW! LETS GET A ZIP LINE TO TAKE US OUT TO THE ROOF WHEN WE ARE READY! THEN WE'LL GET AN INVISIBLE MACHINE GUN THAT SHOOTS CRAZY BONES...AND A WOLF" We talked about it for weeks. No wonder we couldn't sleep when we got down do D-Night and wondered what the hell we were doing sleeping in a shed when we could be in the house watching crappy TV and eating pizza.

We made it through the night. I woke up and my warm/fuzzy feeling of surviving the night lasted 2.23 seconds. "Hey G....! You did it. You promised the kids a sleep over and you delivered. High fiiiiive...Hey look, the door is open...THE DOOR HAS BEEN OPEN ALL NIGHT!" I fully expected to see one of the mangy foxes from next door gnawing on my 6 year old's ear. I quietly closed the door and snuck into the house for coffee relief. This was going to be a long day. I needed to get the kids out before 10 because someone was coming to work on the house but I also needed a coffee hit and a few minutes to myself to hatch a plan.

I was struggling with a "plan" and had none. Nothing. Nada. It was hot. All I could think was "WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO FOR THREE HOURS". I was cursing my wife for going off to Manchester. I was cursing the person for coming to work on the house. I was cursing myself for not coming up with anything to do. "Come on think...we can walk around the block for 3 hours...go for a bike ride for 3 hours... (nope, the youngest is 6 and is not likely to survive a 3 hour bike ride..."

The oldest one came in just as I was booking a luxury 3 hour trip to Gala Bingo in Tooting and suggested we go to the Lido. Of flipping course! The main reason I didn't consider the Lido was that on baking hot days like this it takes for ever to get in. It is the largest outdoor pool in Europe but the space around it isn't and there is only one way in.

This was of course not going to be a hassle today...I have the day off to look after the kids who have an inset day. That is when the school shuts for the kids so the teachers can play darts. These days are staggered so their school would be the only one off! No long line of people. There would only be older folks. People with little babies and a few odd folks.

We jammed three towels in a bag and we walked up in board shorts. We whistled right in and put the towels down by the pool. I remember thinking "I will survive, and enjoy it!". The peace is short lived. Although my children have the choice of a big swimming pool and a little kids pool, they still aren't completely sure what to do. They spent the next half an hour playing with the shower and annoying a man trying to read his book next to it. I started gauging my level of responsibility for their actions and decided he shouldn't have sat next to the shower. This is a trick I learned from my old man. If people are going to complain about your kids behavior you can always play the "What do you expect when you go to a public pool (zoo, ball game) and sit by the shower to read a book?" card.

"Daaa add, can we have an ice cream?"

"Daaa add, can we go in the pool?"

"Daaa add, can we go home?"
Those are the headlines from each of the three hours at the pool in chronological order.

We were ready for home the World Cup and a big fat bastard slice of happy cake.